Prologue

It was too dark outside to believe it was the part of the same world she lived in, and it seemed all quite dead, nothing moved, but she somehow felt the breeze coming in from the window, even though it was shut.

It found its way in – she thought. And vaugely remember reading about pressure and movement of air. It seemed too unimportant to probe further mentally, but she enjoyed the coolness on her face and stood facing the street light on the road.

Being alone doesn’t kill anyone.

That memory was enough to make her sit down and start writing about her mother.

2:05 am Thursday

There were so many times in my life, in my days, when I stopped to reflect, but it was never for too long. I went by right and wrong. And more times than I would like to admit I did confess to myself that I was wrong. But the biggest mistake that I made was telling my-self that it was okay to be wrong - my own special way of making the reflection time short and guilt-less. I couldve changed, I coudve just told you.

I wish I had known, mom. I wish I knew how much I needed you. And I still do. I couldve told you.

Perhaps it was pain, or perhaps the fear of justifying her mistake out of habit that kept her from going into the details. She had never known that she was justified according to her mother. She brought her up to be what she was, but gave up the pleasures of having a loving daughter. But she knew what she was doing. She knew she was wrong, but she told herself it was okay, it was needed.

Work started late in the morning, but she could not sleep and very well knowing that reading does not help her sleep, she still picked up a book and started reading.

It was in the late eighties that I settled down to a real job. I had been quite experienced in the industry by then, but I was too young to stay put, I was too adventurous for that. But I still remember the day I mentioned to my elder brother that this time it was a ‘job’, not an internship or just another assignment, he lit up.

“So how long do you give me for this one?” I asked him.

“A month, but I am hopeful of a year, and I will pray for a life-time”

“Let God know, I’ll take the deal only if there are annual perks” I joked.

God knows, you damn fool – She thought smiling to her-self and shut the book, and went to sleep.

…

She woke up feeling sick, she couldn’t breathe, her heart seemed to be slowing down and she couldn’t see anything – it was all blurry. It was nostalgia.

Breakfast with news was her favourite thing in the morning. She finished her omlette and was halfway in the process of picking up her plate when the news reader mentioned Chandigarh – the news was about an older gentleman from the city who had opened a school where there were no books.

As his name came on, she moved closer to the television to read it carefully. And that istant - the instant where one realizess what they are going to do, she knew she had to go to Chandigarh, very soon.