13, May 2008 1:22 am
I know I can be what I want to be. The knowledge that I always have a choice is very much there, but yet I find myself falling prey every now and then to the mind-led existence which means I either exist in the past or the future. I am twenty-one, it makes me feel capable and guilty at the same time because I am letting it all go - day after fay. At the same time, living with the tendency to undermine the amount of time I actually do spend in the moment - being nothing but myself - doing things I enjoy - things that make a difference - being LCP or just being good person by own standards. But there is so much more, there has to be?
When I think of possibilities, it either makes me want to do more, or not do anything at all. If I know that I ultimately just want to be on my own, far away, then what I waiting for? And do I really know?
A dicey aspect in life are people - the ones around you, ones you know through them, ones on the TV, etc. People are fascinating, interesting, funny, irritating and boring. There are very few people I admit actually liking (that included myself till some time ago). Infact I would normally be more heard mentioning whom I don't like. The problem however, is that my statements are taken much more seriously by others than me myself. I think I learnt long time back that judging people continuously doesn't serve you well in the long run but not judging them at all is a short term disaster. So I drew my own conclusions about different types of judging/concluding that I shouldn't let affect my behaviour towards different people. Thus, developed a habit of not even taking others too seriously, which I have noticed can go across as ignoring or disliking!
But thats that. I live and I learn!
I know I can be what I want to be. The knowledge that I always have a choice is very much there, but yet I find myself falling prey every now and then to the mind-led existence which means I either exist in the past or the future. I am twenty-one, it makes me feel capable and guilty at the same time because I am letting it all go - day after fay. At the same time, living with the tendency to undermine the amount of time I actually do spend in the moment - being nothing but myself - doing things I enjoy - things that make a difference - being LCP or just being good person by own standards. But there is so much more, there has to be?
When I think of possibilities, it either makes me want to do more, or not do anything at all. If I know that I ultimately just want to be on my own, far away, then what I waiting for? And do I really know?
A dicey aspect in life are people - the ones around you, ones you know through them, ones on the TV, etc. People are fascinating, interesting, funny, irritating and boring. There are very few people I admit actually liking (that included myself till some time ago). Infact I would normally be more heard mentioning whom I don't like. The problem however, is that my statements are taken much more seriously by others than me myself. I think I learnt long time back that judging people continuously doesn't serve you well in the long run but not judging them at all is a short term disaster. So I drew my own conclusions about different types of judging/concluding that I shouldn't let affect my behaviour towards different people. Thus, developed a habit of not even taking others too seriously, which I have noticed can go across as ignoring or disliking!
But thats that. I live and I learn!
posted by Manveer | 1:25 AM
1 Comments:
"I think I learnt long time back that judging people continuously doesn't serve you well in the long run but not judging them at all is a short term disaster"
I wish I had never read this. Did I have a choice?
I wish to loose my ability(weakness?!) to accept everything. Do I have a choice?
--
I accept all of the above...argh...See?
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