Reality check One Two Three...

Its the year 2008.

I am 21, and rapidly moving towards being 22, and it doesn't have any significance whatsoever.

I can/may graduate this April. Woohoo! But nothing exciting except some mental relief. The hope of a Masters, nice!

I am LCP of AIESEC Chandigarh, something I faintly dreamt of in August 2005. It's certainly different from being a VP, an ordinary way of life is no more an option, and the extraordinary way is not a cake-walk (like I might have thought at some point). It doesn't really matter how much time I have spent in AIESEC, its all new and hard. One day at a time, I say!

We hosted a National Conference! (I daresay successfully, not upto me). And we even won awards - even a big unexpected one! And Apurav made it to AIESEC in India MC! Picture perfect :)

...

I spent two complete days at home this week, don't know after how long. And with very less thought. Almost incapable of thinking. Its only mom, dad & I, and with one of us not being themselves, not being normal, not being there, its the most empty feeling I have gone through. I cried for things to be normal, for the life that I (and I suppose a lot of us) take for granted. Don't know how its going to shape up even now. But at some level I have made my peace with the fact that its insignificant (worrying/thinking/etc). Its reality. It needs acceptance.

At some level, I understand everything is an illusion. Impermanence of the world provides me the most strength to be who I am. And Its working.

(Plus some random feel good text messages, shallow shallow dirty fellow, I know).

Leadership, Committment and Passion!

“We are the hero of our own story. ”
— Mary McCarthy

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The Local Committee President
AIESEC Chandigarh

15 December 2007

Dear Apurav

With this letter, I wish to inform you of my intent to apply for the position of Local Committee President 2008-09 for AIESEC in Chandigarh.

This decision takes me back to the day that I joined AIESEC back in August 2005. The image of the person addressing us and trying to make us believe what an amazing world we had just entered, that image is stuck in mind, it was Piyush Suri, LCP 2005-06. At that point of time, he symbolized what I wanted to be, not who I wanted to be, but what I wanted to do and how. He represented the hope, that all of us have something bigger than ourselves that we are capable of doing.

Having completed almost two and a half years in AIESEC, and experienced two VP terms, I have lived a lifetime in itself with its ups and downs, learnings and failures, successes and disappointments, friendships and misunderstandings. I look back at 2005 for the amazement of having found a treasure, 2006 for having learnt so much more about my city, my country, and the whole world - the economy, the culture and the role I am to play, 2007 for unlearning a lot of things that I learnt in 2006, for becoming a lot more expressive and confident of my opinions, accepting varied perceptions and that same time drawing my own conclusions of everything, of the future.

Today, I find myself at a point where I need to make a decision about not only next year, but possibly about my life's direction, conventionally speaking. It is clear to me that I wish to continue in AIESEC, that is something that I realized at IC this year, and it remains. Before I could answer at what level I should be at, I chose and internalized the way I would want to be as an AIESECer, and it is clear to me that if there is a time and a place to make the change, and to do the things that I stand for, it is here and it is now, its in AIESEC Chandigarh - what I have known as a second family and which is the foundation level of AIESEC internationally, its an LC and this one.

Kindly accept my candidature.

Regards
--
Manveer S. Grewal
Vice President ICX (Development Sector)
AIESEC Chandigarh
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The decision has been made, and it feels like this is how it was to happen. I don't feel happy or excited or good, I feel like one feels about breathing, about sleeping and waking up, about laughing and crying, I feel so alive and ready!

I don't believe in destiny, and I don't believe too much in carving your own future either, there is something bigger than both that drives us, and its provides the strength and the courage one needs to walk on; sometimes for things you deserve, sometimes for things you desire, and sometimes for things which you both deserve and desire but find it hard to leap for. That force comes in many forms; in form of people (what they express and what they do) and most importantly it comes from you - from the depths of the eternity that exists inside, and makes challenges seem smaller, because nothing is bigger than who you are. As long as I know that the outer purpose I define for myself is only a manifestation of the awareness that I am, I will be able to drive down action and change that would be efficient, ethical, sustainable and purposeful!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
— Marianne Williamson