Nothing in my way, not

As a twenty year old, I am highly inconsistent, and at the end of the day, someone who just 'glides' through life (its not always so pleasant as the word glide may suggest, but in retrospect the past as a whole just seems like a blur, but if you look at certain phases, it becomes too complex)

One of my favourite quotes is " Analysis destroys wholes. Some things, magic things, are meant to be left alone, if you look at their pieces, they go away". Perhaps past is one such 'thing'

For about a month now, I have been upto nothing. Which has been irritating and liberating.

.... ( incomplete, like almost everything I do :)

"My world, your world , angry, happy, painful, smiling, breathing, downward spiral, system breakdown, nauseous, panic, bring on havoc, reaching out with patience, hold me while I hold you, somebody I can't solve all my problems today, no, but you can lean on me now, because I am looking for the same, the distance grows , sincerely I wonder, lover or ally, cleanse me, don't try, torture, cave in, bruise me, 'til I say when, cuz I've got, no courage, so hold me, while I hold you"

Its the third day, of a new year, based on a calender, made by who-cares-who.
Mind missed it, with relevance - the criteria, coming back to life now, thump, ouch, damn you

Ever heard the hindi saying - 'Jo bhi hota hai ache ke liye hota hai'?
Acceptance is a killer, silence is golden, striving for adjustment!
Acha, bura, sahi, galat, upar, neeche, good, bad and the ugly, there are three dimensions, always?

Out of a twenty day 'get-to-know-yourself' camp, with nothing much to write, if you supress your thoughts too much, they break into minute impactful non-verbal 'things', never to be put into words again, but expressed throughout life, studying my own behaviour, is a treat I d rather not have.

Vindication is a wave of 'aha', and its being wrong, selfish, right & knowing too much.

Though, life could have a better explanation than this! I'll keep looking.

But as I evolve, I let my core be the 'order', and growth be the 'chaos'

Nobody knows.